Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess. This morning I checked my Dolce e-mail , something I don't do very often, and had the strangest e-mail waiting for me. Here it is, copied and pasted.
John XXX
show details May 11
From John XXX
Hi Dolce,
I know this will come to you as a surprise because you do not know me. I got your contact from a search on the internet and I was inspired to seek your aquantense. I am an avid reader of your blog and I think we should get together. You are very funny and one of a select few women I find interesting and we would be a superb match. I live in [same city] too and it would be easy for us to meet without the knowledge of our spouses.
If this arrangement is okay by you, you can call or email me.
John XXX
What girl doesn't like to get hit on or told that she's funny and interesting? I can almost ignore the incorrect spellings and the thought that he may not like women, since I'm "one of a select few" (wow, I never thought I would be in that club), but how can I overlook the fact that this guy wants to meet "without the knowledge of our spouses"? What the hell is expecting. Wait, don't answer that...I'm catching on now.
Alright, truth be told, I have a huge, monstrous problem with marital cheating. A couple weeks ago I asked myself, "where are all the men bloggers?" To my knowledge I have 2 men who read my blog (and the coolest ones ever!) and it's not a big surprise to anyone that the majority of bloggers are female, so I started searching for male bloggers. I imagined most of them wrote sports blogs, daddy blogs, or remedies for jock itch and athlete's foot, but during my search, the first 30 or so male blogs I came across were about cheating on their wives.
I was a little surprised.
Being a big supporter of the first amendment, if some guy or girl wants to blog about cheating and give tips on how to be an adulterer without getting caught, rock on with your bad self, I'm just not interested. In fact, I think it's appalling and I feel bad for you. No, I feel bad for your spouse who you so obviously couldn't care less about because you disrespect them so incredibly much that you would start a website to help other cheaters out.
There is no pedestal under my feet and I think we have all been in relationships and circumstances where we have cheated before. I'll be the first to admit, I've cheated on boyfriends. The difference is I was 18 and 19 and not MARRIED! Oh yeah, I've been cheated on too. My first college boyfriend cheated on my with my best friend. Ask me how much that hurt, but the real issue I have is why would someone think I would be interested in having an extra-marital affair?
I racked my brain with questions: have I ever written anything that would allude to the fact I was interested in messing around behind PH's back? I can only imagine the repercussions of that post...I'd be sleeping on the couch for years. Do I give the impression that I'm ready to jump in the sack with anyone at a Deluxe Inn? Absolutely not, I hate hotels and I hate feeling guilty. So I dug into the archives and re-read everything tagged with PH, all signs point to my answers to no. The e-mail was in my spam-box so I wonder if this, John, sent out mass e-mails to a number of women and thought: I'll just send this to as many women as I know in the area and see if anyone takes a bite.
Well, thanks for thinking I'm cool (or skanky) enough to have an affair with you, but my va-jay-jay has been a one man show for a while.
23 comments:
I feel all dirty just reading about it. Eeeeewww and eeeewww.
That is just so messed up :-(
hi there- found your blog through a few others we both seem to frequent!
yeah, this dude seems a bit on the skeevy side. maybe you're right about the spam thing.
i had no idea there were so many blogs out there devoted to the idea of "giving tips" on how to cheat. creepy.
Wow.
Just. Wow.
I wonder how often that really happens?
Glad to know my blog is one of the few that doesn't have to do with infidelity!
Um, WTF?
That is one of the reasons I am worried about revealing too much on my blog.
Freaks. Everywhere!
EW! And, WOW. And, WTF! Rude, much? What a douche.
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?
holy crap dolce that is nuts! i hope that dude gets crabs - but doesn't give them to his unsuspecting wife!
cheating on a spouse is a serious no no.
Woh how creepy. And I feel very sorry for that dudes wife. And the wives of all those male bloggers you mentioned.
What a slime ball!! and delusional :o)
wow. just wow.
dear john- i appreciate that you enjoy Dolce's blog. and how flattering you would want to meet her. except YOU ARE MARRIED. why do you want to cheat? what aren't you getting out of your marriage that you need? maybe take the energy you use to follow other women's lives and focus it on your own issues. that's my advice. because deep down, it can't feel good to think about cheating, can it?
CA-reeeepy!
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? No effin way.
Seriously. What a douchebag. Just putting that out there is douchy.
Run away!!
Yikes! John is crazy and a sleaze.
On the other hand, this post is great, and I 100% agree with you about everything. It's unbelievable and disgusting that men blog about cheating on their wives. It makes me so angry. So glad I am with a great guy!
Well I guess John got the message, since he reads your blog.
You don't think it's PH joking around do you??
I read a few male bloggers and all of them are either ..single..or in a relationship. I haven't read about cheating..I think I would have to stop reading that blog if they did.
How creepy and weird! And now he is reading this probably wanting you more for giving him the va-jay-jay visual. Ewwwwwwww! Creepy.
I am honored that you referred to me as a "man" that reads your blog.
I would have went with little stupid child.
I am so spelling it "aquantense" from now on.
Ladies, I don't cheat! Well one time on that physics test I did. For shame.
Men are sick.
I whine and whine and whine endlessly about being single and never get one proposition. I wonder why? Oh because men hate whiners. Duh!
wow that's ridiculous. i can't believe someone would actually send that to you. ew.
TD: My in-box felt violated. Wait, that was not intended to be dirty.
Brookem: WELCOME! As for cheating blogs, I nearly fell out of my chair when I found a dating service catered to cheating spouses.
SO: It happens more times than you'd think. There are some real ballsy dogs out there. I'm glad you're on the "good-guy" list...the count is up to 8.
Tipp: That's the truth.
Addy: My thoughts exactly.
Alexa: I wished him the same STD. Annoying, yet curable.
Liz: Me too, but I can't just single out male bloggers; I've come across some female written ones as well.
WW: I agree and agree.
Chickbug: Thank you for saying what I really wanted to say.
Surfergrrl: I imagine he's done e-mailing and reading my blog after this post.
Lady Luck: Maybe if he took the time to spell check I would have considered the proposal. On second thought, no. It wouldn't happen. Ever.
MP: Haha! I asked PH today at lunch and he laughed. No it was not him. He did however sit back and say, "If I ever do send you an e-mail pretending to try and have an affair with you and you agreed to meet, I'd meet you with divorce papers."
I'm glad to know we're on the same page.
1218: Oh sick! I didn't even think of that.
RS: You're on the "good-guy" list too and you can't steal "aquantense" that's my new word. I don't blame you for cheating on a physics test; that class was f*ing hard!
d: What about C??? Whining has gotten you somewhere, right? So no worries. Who wants to be propositioned by freaks anyway?
Katelin: I'm biting my lip saying this, but I just have to do it. Who would marry this douche? Seriously.
That John character is a creepshow!! And, thankfully, I've never come across one of those cheater blogs.
Yikes.
You go girl. (Does anyone even say that anymore? Me, I guess.)
Ew. I've never gotten a vibe that you were a cheater. The closest thing to it was that one about flirting, and even that one was so not cheaty, imo.
One guy came up to me while I was downtown the other day, super old guy, and said I could "learn things" from him. *shudder* "I'm not a learner," I said. *shudder again*
Ew.
Wow. Remarkably weird. I wonder if this person just emails as many as he can to see what kind of responses he gets? Blech. We should all form an anti-cheating club.
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