A co-worker of mine brought in her 1 week old grand-daughter to show everyone at work. She's ONE WEEK OLD... this is the most disgusting & dirty office I have ever worked in. Have you read my stories about the bathrooms here? I go do Subway on a consistent basis because their loo is MUCH cleaner. It probably doesn't help that the baby's grandma is the one who is supposed to clean this hell hole.
I can't even begin to tell you how many people have walked by my office to say, "Oh, Dolce! You have to go see the baby!" "You have to look at the baby!" I even got a call from the receptionist to go up to the front desk to "look at the baby".
You know how I want to respond?
"Go fuck yourself. I don't care."
I've never met the mother before in my life and I barely talk to the grandma. Why would I want to go stare at a someone else's baby? I'll get enough practice holding, feeding, and caring for a baby on my own. I don't need a 30 practice run with a stranger in my office. I'm glad to know that even though I could be a mom in less than 24 hours pregnancy hasn't taken away from who I've always been.
Still a dry, sarcastic, non-child loving, bitch who doesn't get mooshy over babies, cry (too much) at movies, or get a warm fuzzy feeling through my body at the sight of kittens.
Whew...glad I haven't become one of those.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
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20 comments:
I totally dig people I know's babies, but strangers? Not so much.
I have faith that you're going to be the best mom blogger yet. :)
I have faith that you're going to be the best mom blogger yet. :)
Damn me and my double (or is it triple) commenting.
I LOATHE when people bring their babies into work... I find it so tedious having to be all nice about them when i barely know the person, so I totally know where you're coming from!
haha I love this post! I agree, the kid is ONE WEEK OLD. There are places that you just don’t take a baby fresh out.
I love babies. More when it's someone I know, but still. I can see where you're coming from, though!
babies shouldnt be at work. they are a distraction with their screaming and crying. anyone you really care about would come see the baby anyhow
A week old? That's a bad mom.
That is super annoying. Just because you might want to have your own baby doesn't mean that you want to hold, coo and coddle very baby on the planet. Good Lord.
i don't think i've ever come to your blog and not laughed out loud (unless it was a serious post of course). but really, too funny. and one week!? what was that mom thinking!? sheesh.
I love you and think you are so fabulous, it's scary. You give me hope that I will one day join the human race as a relatively normal person who can still not stand children but may want to have my own.
You are so the best. No really. We're in love. Thinking so many good thoughts for you as you near the finish line of having a creature leaching off your lifeforce from the inside.
don't let the baby change you!!!
well maybe a little cause it'll have to but girlfriend keep doing all of the things you mentioned at the end.
Wait...having an occupied womb doesn't mean you have to love babies? Don't spread that gossip around society as we know it might collapse.
On a totally related note: Have I mentioned I adore you?
I don't like random spawn either. Friends spawn = awesome, however. I'm super excited for you to meet yours.
Have you heard of those heinous look-see parties or whateverinthehell they are called? Like the baby is on show for you to go and visit right after they are born? That sounds like pure hell to me. Don't get me wrong, babies can't help it...it's their parents who put them up to this stuff. I feel confident your baby is one hell of a lucky child!
Darn thing just cries and poops and eats that is it, why so special.
Dear Dolce,
Please don't ever change.
Thanks-
A
yeah...that baby holdin shit doesn't come back until you've had a couple or your one is too old to smell good anymore...
then you find yourself (no matter how effin cool you are) trying to get a whiff of baby head like a bad baby junkie...
you start poking your mate and going "are you sure we don't need another?"
stupid babies, not only do they ruin your boobs they reek havoc on your lifelong mental stability and judgment
v8grrl
You and me could be twins. I am the same way. Not preggo like you (yet) but I could care less about kiddos and really after our vacation I'm considering holding off for even longer so that we can vacation again next year! Hmmm...baby or vacation??? Yeah...
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